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  1. You know you're stressed out when you can hear Mimes.

  2. If it weren't for stress I'd have no energy at all.

  3. Of all the things I`ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

  4. Usually I try to take it one day at a time, but lately several have attacked me at once...

  5. I dont suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

  6. Everytime I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.

  7. A great education has made me what I am today-Stressed!

  8. Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately deserves it.*

  9. Iíve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring.*

  10. Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it. *

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  1. You know you should go to sleep when the sheep your counting start to hit the fence.

  2. The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

  3. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. --Emo Phillips.

  4. "The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more." --Wilson Mizener

  5. "Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone." --Anthony Burgess

  6. If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping.--Yogi Berra

  7. "Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone." --Tommy Cooper

  8. "People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." --Leo J. Burke

  9. Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. -Albert Camus

  10. Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. -Evan Davis

  11. An alarm clock is a device that wakes you up just in time to go back to sleep.

  12. "I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?" --Ernest Hemingway

  13. "I'd like mornings better if they started later."

  14. "There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock."

  15. "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong." --George Carlin

  16. "If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters."

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