CRAIG'S TRANSLATIONS

Ever go on Craig's List and try to figure out what the posters mean when using certain words? 

Here are some translations of some frequently used phrases:

Antique: "Peeling paint if there's any paint on it at all."

Anything with the word century: "Too old to look at."

Vintage: "I got this ages ago, but I don't remember when."

Mid-Century: "I got this 50 years ago."

Modern: "This thing has no style."

Mid-century modern: "I got this 50 years ago when this was in style."

No picture: "It doesn't even look decent in a picture."

Excellent condition: "2 years old with some scratches."

Very good condition: "5 years old and some rips."

Good condition: "It's filthy."

Okay: "It's crawling with bed bugs."

Doesn't fit in my new apartment: "Can't wait to get rid of this."

Beautiful: "I think itís ugly, but maybe you'll like it."

Used to be $____: "But now it's not worth the page it's posted on."

Solid wood: The only positive feature

Was in storage: "Try cleaning this one off."

Reduced price: "No one wanted this the first time around."

Pictures don't do justice: "It's really much uglier."