POSTED 9-24-09
I believe projects are like fine wine- they improve with age. --Riva P.
Procrastinate? Who procrastinates? It's called 'waiting for the opportune moment.' --Riva P.
What's wrong with empty calories? If they're empty, it means there's nothing bad in them! --Randy Glasbergen
All I want is everything. Is that a problem?
POSTED 10-18-09
If life hands you lemons, make sweets!
POSTED 10-20-09
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
�I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but I never got around to it.
My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced
with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'--Steven Wright
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?--Steven Wright
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One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
�Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
When you go to a trial, you're putting yourself in the hands of twelve people that weren't smart enough to get themselves out of jury duty.
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk,my first instinct is to laugh.But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.Then it wouldn�t seem quite so funny. --Jack Handey
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
"When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.�--Jack Handey
�People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. --David H. Comins
POSTED 10-25-09
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?... and then it hits me.
POSTED 11-01-09
"If life hands you lemons, make chocolate milk!" --Nesquik
